an important
episode of
my life:
In 1955, when I was 13 attending primary 6 before the end of 1st term, I got an accident during school picnic, I broke my left wrist bone and was sent to The Queen Mary Hospital and I had to stay there for more than a month and underwent three operations. The hospital ward consisted of 24 patients, many of them were unable to walk and it aroused my compassion toward them for it sparked memories of my traumatized early years. I became a volunteer to help those in need such as bringing urine container for the disabled. One day an older male patient asked me to do him a favor by bringing him a knife so he could kill himself; the uncle lying in bed next to me was paralyzed; he soon became my good friend. I realized only when you learned to care others; you would appreciate yourself to be cared.
My 3rd operation was surgery and in that morning Mama came very early looked worried. I was afraid so I grabbed Mama’s hand and prayed with rosary until I was taken to the operation theatre. When the surgery was done, I was sent back to the ward still unconscious. When I was awake, Mama had left and uncle said to me “your mama was here the whole morning though several nurses asked her to leave she was still waiting for you; she was sitting there quietly until she saw your coming back from the operation. She stared at you and was weeping. She loves you so much.” My eyes were wet.
I was back home one week after the surgery, I received triumphant welcome from family; at school with greetings from Catholic fathers and brothers, teachers and schoolmates one after the other, I was puzzled and wondered whether the accident was literally a gain or mishap.
Mama came from an average income Christian family in Shangdong province; she didn’t receive much education, she could read but hardly write. After marring father, she had lived in a calm and simple life without flamboyance or vanity though father later got wealthy. Materialistic desire never appeals to her; she enjoys conversation, read novels and plays a little mahjong. Mama has no children; her only baby girl died one month after birth yet she still rendered her unconditional love to us all. She was always obedient and loyal to father. She has had tremendous patience and stunning endurance physically and mentally even as of today. During the beginning of 2nd world war, she dodged from Japan occupied Nanjing and walked thousands of miles by foot to Chendu for 48 days with several company staffs to join father. Mama’s gritty resilience and the way she sustained hardship was incredible.
Nov 28, it is Mama’s birthday. She is 96, most family members are present that day to celebrate the occasion at CCC club. Alvin and Debra specially come back from Los Angles to join the party, Mark Campbell is also here. We are greeting Mama one by one and take pictures. Everybody seems happy yet with sorrow concealed.
I was quite independent while in high school; I mostly concentrated on my studies and school activities. Sometimes I held home parties for schoolmates while Mama was mostly looking after Linda. I transferred to Clementi Middle School starting senior middle High. Clementi was a Chinese public school with outstanding academic performance. Students were disciplined and I felt being upgraded in all respect. (I am at present the Clementi School Management Committee member.)
Don’t get me wrong as I never hate or envy Linda because I love her as well and for me, it is impossible that love and hate can co-exist toward a person.
After graduated from Ohio State, I returned to Hong Kong and worked for father. Father was difficult to work with; apart from his high temper he was conservative and traditional. When father was exasperated he could have scolded me for hours and if I listened and didn’t argue with him he would treat me nicer the next day. Anyway, his authority couldn’t be challenged or he would loose control. Sometimes after bickering with father, I was depressed so I carried the grievance and came to Mama. I didn’t have to say anything and Mama understood well then I buried my head into Mama’s arm like a baby and she tenderly stroked my hair, it was like gentle wind sweeping my face, it was so soothing and for a while all the ill feelings vanished.
Dec 6, mama has severe breathing problem due to her windpipe being distorted by the enlargement of the tumor, we precipitously call the ambulance and she is sent to Canossa hospital late night. The next morning she has an operation. A tube has penetrated her throat to help her breath and she stays in the hospital for more than a week. Siblings take terms in visiting her everyday. We all worry as her condition fluctuates each day. During the week, Reverend Koon comes to baptize Mama for reaffirmation. I also take Mami to the hospital to look Mama up. Mami has walking problem, I help her walk through the hospital corridor and slowly enter the ward and sit by Mama’s bedside. I whisper to Mama telling her Mami is here. Mama opens her eyes and they gaze at each other not saying a word, at that particular moment, for over 60 years gives and takes are gone; forgiveness replaces bitterness; gratefulness and clemency filled the room with harmony and … LOVE. I hear angels sing.
Unfinished symphony: to be completed by then…