Pilgrimage Lee Sai-Hon

The four families shared one bathroom and a very small kitchen．．．．

I go to London, England every year. It is my annual pilgrimage to reconnect my past. My parents are buried in a London suburb. I have been doing this every year for the past thirty some years. I go to London with a heavy heart. I lost my mother 35 years ago. Father left us 8 years ago. Father had the foresight to arrange for him to be buried with mother when she left this world. On their headstone the inscription says "Together Again, Forever." Mother single-handedly brought up the three sons in Hong Kong. Father left Hong Kong for Winnipeg, Canada shortly after we arrived Hong Kong in 1949. He left Hong Kong because he was unable to find employment when refugees from China flooded Hong Kong during the communist surge in the mainland. Mother became the head of the household. I, being the eldest of the three sons, became the senior male figure in the family.

Father was afraid of flying. He returned to Hong Kong only once during our formative years. He took a ship from Canada to Hong Kong. We were poor. I remember our family sharing one small bedroom, with three other families in the same apartment in their own bedrooms in the western section of Hong Kong. The four families shared one bathroom and a very small kitchen. This type of living arrangement must be quite common at the time due to the tremendous influx of refugees from China.

I will never forget mother telling us that her elder brother saw her buying "cracked eggs" in the market. Cracked eggs are eggs with cracked shells, much cheaper than the non-cracked ones. She was embarrassed. That must be so difficult for her at the moment. The word was out in the family that we're having financial issues. Mother's elder sister decided to take us into her three level house in the "Half Hill District" for fear the boys could end up hanging out with gangsters. My aunt was quite well to do. But it was her good heart that I will be forever grateful. I went to her 90th birthday bash in San Francisco few years back. She passed away shortly thereafter.

Father worked with his uncle in Canada in the cafe business until his elder brother asked him to help run a chain of Chinese restaurants in London. My 2 younger brothers left Hong Kong and joined father in London in the early 60's and I came to the United States for graduate school after Chung Chi College in 1967. Mother left Hong Kong and joined father and my brothers in London shortly after I left Hong Kong.

In hindsight it was a bad idea to encourage mother to move from a community she was comfortable and happy with. Going to London might have ignited her early demise. She was lonely and stayed mostly in the tiny apartment above the restaurant by herself. Father worked very long hours. We celebrated father's 96th birthday with the presence of his three sons and few grandsons. He passed away less than one month after that celebration. This birthday celebration was the first birthday celebration when all three sons could join in - and the last for father to be with all his sons. I am forever indebted to my parents. There is never a day go by that I did not think about them. They struggled and worked hard to make sure their sons have the best possible upbringing. I remember walking to the Hong Kong post office with mother and picking up the money order sent by father. Though far away, his family must be on his mind all the time. That must be difficult too. In my remembrance of parents the least I can do is to visit them at their final resting place every year. It is one pilgrimage I look forward to every year - and yes, with a heavy heart. Even heavier heart when I say goodbye to them, knowing it will take another year before I can pay my respect in my next pilgrimage.

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